The Power of Darkness: Embracing The "Shadow Self" in Spooky Season

By Jordana Goldstein

October naturally pulls us toward the idea of darkness—whether it’s haunted houses, spooky costumes, or Halloween’s eerie imagery. But darkness doesn’t have to be treated as something scary. It can also be seen as a symbol for the parts of ourselves we usually push away, ignore, or feel uncomfortable with. In psychology, this is often called the “shadow self,” meaning all the feelings, traits, and desires that don’t line up with the version of ourselves we think we’re supposed to be. The parts that don’t make the Instagram reel. The parts we’d rather keep tucked away. But just because we hide them doesn’t mean they disappear. In fact, they often sneak out sideways through envy, defensiveness, self-doubt, or even in the little dreams we’re afraid to admit we want.

That’s why this season actually gives us a powerful metaphor. Just like Halloween lets us put on masks, play with fear, and even laugh at it, it also gives us a safe reminder: stepping into the dark helps us see more of who we really are. Haunted houses, creepy movies, costumes are really all practice rounds for facing the uncomfortable. Therapy works the same way. When we sit with the shadow, it’s not about glorifying what scares us, but about finally naming it, bringing it into the light, and realizing it doesn’t have as much power over us as we thought. That’s where healing starts. That’s where wholeness begins.

For some people, this looks like noticing the anger they’ve never allowed themselves to feel because they were raised to “be nice.” For others, it might be admitting to exhaustion when they’ve always been the 

caretaker. These shadow moments can be uncomfortable, but they also unlock self-acceptance and authenticity. When you stop

fighting parts of yourself, you stop wasting so much energy hiding or performing, and in turn, you get to live with more freedom.

It’s not just about us individually. On a bigger scale, communities and cultures have their own shadows too that include collective fears, unspoken grief, the anxieties we’d rather not name. When we face those things together, the same transformation happens. Just like whole neighborhoods come together in October to lean into the spooky, we can meet life’s uncertainties head-on, and in the process, discover resilience and connection.

One mindfulness practice that really ties in here is something called R.A.I.N. It’s simple but powerful. The steps go like this:

• Recognize what’s showing up. Name it:“this is fear,” “this is shame,” “this is anger.”

• Allow it to be there. Instead of pushing it away, just say, “Okay, this is here right now.”

• Investigate with curiosity. Where do I feel it in my body? What’s it trying to tell me?

• Nurture with kindness. Offer yourself a breath, a hand on your heart, or a gentle reminder: “I’m allowed to feel this. I’m still okay.”

R.A.I.N. can be used as a flashlight for the shadows. It helps us face what we’d normally hide from and softens it with compassion.

This season of shadows isn’t just about jump scares or spooky vibes—it’s about an invitation to wholeness. To step into the dark, meet ourselves there, and come back with a little more light.